It’s been a long few weeks, not the least of which was a nice bout with sore throat and laryngitis.  At least, though, it wasn’t hamthrax, which is more than I can say for my cousin who lives in Michigan.

Did you know Michigan is bigger than England?  Did you know Michigan is the 11th largest state?  America is so huge and diverse that I have a hard time explaining that to people here.

Mr. Tea went with a stag party to Wales this weekend.  Wales is 3.5 hours from my house and although most of these fellas have lived here for 30 years, most of them had also not been “so far.”  This amazes me.  You can drive 3.5 hours from my childhood home and still be in Illinois.  There is an element, too, of it being Wales, the whipping boy of the UK.  They pick on Wales here the way someone from Chicago picks on Hoosiers, or the way all of America picks on Kentucky.  Word on the street, though, is that Wales is really beautiful.  I think they let you believe it’s awful so you don’t go spoiling it for them with tons of tourists.

I have learned that one can substitute sweet potato guts in place of can of packed pumpkin.  I made fake-pumpkin bread that is totally to die for, and will make some more again soon.

I had a birthday.  My mom mailed me pumpkin pancake mix (pancakes, not crepes) and my dad mailed me a box of Mountain Dew.  They both mailed me Tollhouse Morsels.  Maybe they’re learning.

Halloween is decidedly less festive here.  I had two trick-or-treat knocks on the door.  Of the 6 kids in total that I saw, 5 of them didn’t have candy bags.  ENGLAND:  UR DOIN IT WRONG.  I was confused.  What did they want me to do?  Were they just going to eat the candy before the next house shushed up with the lights off and pretended nobody was home?  Do they know they’re supposed to egg those houses?

Oh yeah, and on the morning of my birthday, a British woman I only know online got all uppity with me about American traditions (ie Halloween, and specifically, pumpkin carving) were ruining British traditions (ie turnip carving) and that it was somehow akin to a personal attack on the country.  Relations between America and the UK are so tense, she said, and she saw a documentary once about American miliatary bases in the UK and those people weren’t nice to the locals.   It reminded me of that time I mistakenly read the comments on a Daily Mail article about “american style” proms in the UK and wanted to call every one of those idiots and point out that *I* didn’t buy their kid a prom dress, or a cell phone, or… a PUMPKIN.  You can feel sad about lost tradition but don’t point at me!  Hallowe’en started as a Celtic holiday!

It sure is nice to be surrounded by all these here super polite brits, I tell you.  Maybe, between her and Sir Courage Wolf, there is hope I will learn proper manners one day after all!

I am looking forward to my first Guy Fawkes’ day.  I suspect it’s like July 4 but colder, but I’m willing to find out if I’m wrong.