In Tea We Trust

Yeah, basically.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:50:01 +0000

Yeah, basically.

"Oh my! Nostrich and Heather tied the knot! Many congratulations to you both and may you always..."

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 12:34:09 +0000

“

Oh my! Nostrich and Heather tied the knot!

Many congratulations to you both and may you always get the shortest line at the border.

”

PSA

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 12:22:00 +0000

Hey, guess what? If you’re going to write me an email about my blog that tells me how I should feel about anything in my life, it’d be nice if you could also delete it before hitting send. I don’t really care how YOU think I should feel. It’s completely irrelevant.

Oh! I didn’t take any photos on Bonfire night, but if I HAD, it for sure would have been of...

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:31:10 +0000

Oh! I didn’t take any photos on Bonfire night, but if I HAD, it for sure would have been of 100 Brits huddled together under umbrellas on the railway bridge in the pouring rain, watching the fireworks over the castle. British people: Must. Have. Organized. Fun.

I was really amazed and surprised how many people went out to see them despite the really awful weather. (Awful even by British standards, I mean, not just my dry-footed American ones.) We had fun, though.

Also, I got to hear one woman call another woman a slag, and then the slag replied that she’d stick a rocket up the other one’s arse, that silly cow! And really, that was worth the weather.

I was filling out our census form a little while ago. Mr. Tea is very cute about the census,...

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:06:02 +0000

I was filling out our census form a little while ago. Mr. Tea is very cute about the census, stating that it’s important for future generations to be able to look up their ancestors. I mostly am of the mind that it’s helpful yes but probably just another way for the government to have their nose in my business. I filled it in anyway.

Interesting things to me about ethnicity on the UK census form:

There is no space to mark yourself as hispanic or latino. I don’t even know which one you’d pick. Nothing seems even close. I guess you’d be a write in.

There IS an option to mark yourself as a Gypsy or Traveller. With all due respect, this is always really fun for me, because where I grew up, gypsies are fictional characters that we only know from Disney films. They exist only as much as the boogeyman does, or bigfoot, and if you’re bad as a kid your grandmother might threaten to sell you to one. As an adult, I understand the error in this and that it’s more complicated than that, but this still feels like telling me I could mark Unicorn as my ethnic identity.

Also, in the states, I’d usually have the option to mark myself as some kind of White: Irish Descent or White: European descent or some other form of Generic White Person… but here, I marked my ethnic identity as White: American. Three years ago I’d have thought nothing of telling people I was Irish American but my thoughts on this have changed a lot since moving here and living closer to people who are, you know, actually for really Irish and not poser frat boys in a bar getting crunk on St. Patty’s day. It’s all well and good to embrace an ethnic heritage and remember your roots but it feels disrepectful to all parties to also pretend to be someone you’re not. I guess it feels to me now like Americans are often looking so hard for an identity that they grab onto other ones in the process sometimes.

I really feel like I have a much better idea of what it means to be an American since I moved OUT of America. I know for sure I’m a lot more patriotic, and in a much different way from earlier in my life.

"oh yeah, or just put stephen fry in it."

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:42:57 +0000

“oh yeah, or just put stephen fry in it.”

telly

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:34:50 +0000

formula for british television show: put four funny people in a room and have them discuss current events. (there are SO many shows like this here!)

alternatively: write six funny sketches and re-perform them week after week with only minor changes to the circumstances. the punchline remains the same.

Must be Monday.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:39:10 +0000

Must be Monday.

oh and PS

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:18:32 +0000

threadless.com is doing a free shipping deal TODAY only… INCLUDING international addresses! I am so full of love for them for even considering the idea!

Annnnd we're back

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:03:52 +0000

It’s been a long few weeks, not the least of which was a nice bout with sore throat and laryngitis. At least, though, it wasn’t hamthrax, which is more than I can say for my cousin who lives in Michigan.

Did you know Michigan is bigger than England? Did you know Michigan is the 11th largest state? America is so huge and diverse that I have a hard time explaining that to people here.

Mr. Tea went with a stag party to Wales this weekend. Wales is 3.5 hours from my house and although most of these fellas have lived here for 30 years, most of them had also not been “so far.” This amazes me. You can drive 3.5 hours from my childhood home and still be in Illinois. There is an element, too, of it being Wales, the whipping boy of the UK. They pick on Wales here the way someone from Chicago picks on Hoosiers, or the way all of America picks on Kentucky. Word on the street, though, is that Wales is really beautiful. I think they let you believe it’s awful so you don’t go spoiling it for them with tons of tourists.

I have learned that one can substitute sweet potato guts in place of can of packed pumpkin. I made fake-pumpkin bread that is totally to die for, and will make some more again soon.

I had a birthday. My mom mailed me pumpkin pancake mix (pancakes, not crepes) and my dad mailed me a box of Mountain Dew. They both mailed me Tollhouse Morsels. Maybe they’re learning.

Halloween is decidedly less festive here. I had two trick-or-treat knocks on the door. Of the 6 kids in total that I saw, 5 of them didn’t have candy bags. ENGLAND: UR DOIN IT WRONG. I was confused. What did they want me to do? Were they just going to eat the candy before the next house shushed up with the lights off and pretended nobody was home? Do they know they’re supposed to egg those houses?

Oh yeah, and on the morning of my birthday, a British woman I only know online got all uppity with me about American traditions (ie Halloween, and specifically, pumpkin carving) were ruining British traditions (ie turnip carving) and that it was somehow akin to a personal attack on the country. Relations between America and the UK are so tense, she said, and she saw a documentary once about American miliatary bases in the UK and those people weren’t nice to the locals. It reminded me of that time I mistakenly read the comments on a Daily Mail article about “american style” proms in the UK and wanted to call every one of those idiots and point out that *I* didn’t buy their kid a prom dress, or a cell phone, or… a PUMPKIN. You can feel sad about lost tradition but don’t point at me! Hallowe’en started as a Celtic holiday!

It sure is nice to be surrounded by all these here super polite brits, I tell you. Maybe, between her and Sir Courage Wolf, there is hope I will learn proper manners one day after all!

I am looking forward to my first Guy Fawkes’ day. I suspect it’s like July 4 but colder, but I’m willing to find out if I’m wrong.

Looking up

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 23:47:19 +0100

I finally, finally found a flavor of squash that doesn’t make me gag. Sainsbury’s summer fruits is my new BFF.

I hate you, O2.

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 20:22:00 +0100

I have been having connection issues on various websites and was starting to think it was my computer until I started running speedtest.net every couple of hours. At that point, it became obvious that O2, our ISP, is throttling the network. At 6am, we can have speeds of up to 7Mbps. At 6pm, it’s not unusual for us to get 0.7Mbps. HUGE difference. It took us a literal five minutes last night to update twitter. That’s where we’re at.

For most people living and functioning in 2009, this is annoying, but for someone like me who works online in bandwidth intensive environments and frequently on American time zones, this is crippling and absolutely unacceptable. I’m super annoyed and will be looking for a new provider this week.

and may all your snowblowers break.

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:47:59 +0100

Remember a while back when I was complaining about the weather? (I mean, the most recent time.) How it was suddenly growing dismal and dark and I felt like I missed out on summer because it’s never more than 70 here and now the rain and the cold had arrived too soon? Everyone treated me like I was being such a baby about it and it really made me pretty reluctant to discuss my depression with anyone except paid professionals.

Then, this week, it’s unseasonably cold where I grew up. Shockingly, everyone I know has spent a solid week now whining about how miserable they are that the sun is gone too soon, they didn’t get enough of a summer and now the autumn is gone already.

And because I am evil, I don’t remind them that they got at least three weeks of 100+ degree weather this year, and that maybe THEY should suck it up. Instead, I just sit smugly by my fire and hope they get TONS and TONS and TONS of snow this year.

"One of the hardest, but most worthwhile things, about moving far away - be it to a new country or..."

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 12:24:51 +0100

“One of the hardest, but most worthwhile things, about moving far away - be it to a new country or just across the one you’re in - is that you quickly learn who your real friends are, and who is just there because it’s temporarily convenient.”

I have been writing less here, mostly because even I get bored of talking about depression,...

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:54:46 +0100

I have been writing less here, mostly because even I get bored of talking about depression, homesickness and other assorted drama. I’m just trying to hang in there most days and sometimes, hanging in there means just shutting up, pretending to be local and obsessing less about the differences between here and there.

The good news, though, is that I finally have a working UK debit card. It took forever to get because Mr. Tea and I had to first find our way through the mess that is joining finances in a new marriage and household. (Reason enough to never get married again. What a pain.) Despite really wanting this for a long time, I still underestimated how GREAT it would feel to get it. I’m not sure exactly why, but I feel so much more official now. I no longer need Mr. Tea to chaperone when I’m trying to buy things off amazon.co.uk with my (sure to be declined because it’s from another country) american debit card. I have one of those chip things in my plastic! My american card never works in pin pad machines because it doesn’t have one of those chip things. It’s a thousand little weights off and they added up in a big way. I feel better.

The bad news is that I was planning to go to Chicago this month to get my dog and as it turns out, he can’t come here until a month from now… and that runs too close to the christmas concert and then too close to christmas. I was pretty excited about getting away for a few weeks (see also: homesick) and was totally crushed today when I realized it will most likely have to wait until January. Feels like forever. I have a two month old niece I haven’t even met yet! She’s going to be huge before I ever see her. Things like this are among my least favorite things about living here.

Guess I’ll go play with my bank card or something.

Time for the Monday Choir Rant

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:43:59 +0100

There are three women who sit behind me in choir (whom I hope never, ever read this blog.) They travel in a pack, take offense at every one of the director’s corrections as though he’s personally out to get them and, most annoyingly of all, they never stop talking for the entire rehearsal. It makes me insane. It’s the kind of behavior I’d expect from the junior high girls’ choir I used to work with.

Tonight was week two of Carmina Burana rehearsals and people are finally starting to discuss the English translation of the rather bawdy lyrics. Mostly, it’s about wine, women and song, with a good deal thrown in about virgins. And would you believe one of those old witches actually said, “Well you know, if you’re an American you can be a virgin again any time! Just fill out some paper and become one of those born agains!”

I was really tempted to offer to pick them up an application next time I swing past the old stars and bars, but was saved by the nice lady next to me who finds them equally annoying because last week they told her she was in the wrong chair and had better come early next time to get a proper seat.

But really… I know the states has plenty of religious nut jobs, but you guys had Henry VIII! Pot meet kettle!

Norinda Lek

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 16:39:01 +0100

Arthur

Martha

This combination of words and their respective American vs. British pronunciations is hilarious to me.

Ahhh - thuhhh

Mahhh - thurrr

Drore-ing.

Why no R where I see one? Why an R where I don’t?

My third grade nephew is reading Flat Stanley, a story about a...

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 13:57:19 +0100

My third grade nephew is reading Flat Stanley, a story about a little boy who gets squished when the bulletin board falls on him and then discovers he can mail himself places. He arrived in my mailbox a couple days ago, so today, I scanned him and took him to work with me, haha. I build virtual worlds for a living, so I got to explain how they work to simulate real life and how you can even build schools there. Good times.

Tomorrow, Flat Stanley is going to see a real life castle, a market, and perhaps some sausages and beer.

American Sweets

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:57:44 +0100

American Sweets:

I really love trying new food and will eat almost anything, so for the most part, while I enjoy the novelty of bringing my UK friends a bag of Kool Aid, I don’t really miss many American foods on a regular basis. (My jar of American Ovaltine is lasting me quite nicely.)

But now that we’ve ticked over into autumn, I’m finding myself really kind of sad at the amount of special foods I associate with this time of year that I can’t get in the UK. I only just learned that you can’t get candy corn here, for example! How do children make candy corn fangs for Halloween? You can’t get Milk Duds, either. There is no such thing as corn bread and even with many trips to the hippy co-op grocery store with walls of grain bins, I have been unable to even procure some corn meal to make it from scratch. There’s no such thing as hot apple cider with cinnamon in it. (Cider here is ALWAYS booze, which is interesting considering that Johnny Appleseed was a booze-slinging American legend.) And forget about anything with pumpkins in it. Canned pumpkin just doesn’t exist here at all, and I assume from that that people mostly don’t eat things like pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread or maybe even those delicious pumpkin lattes you start finding this time of year.

My birthday is this month so I suppose I have lots of happy memories associated with this time of year of all the pumpkin patches, hay mazes and haunted houses. I feel like being out on a farm in a thick sweater, trying to decide how you will ever carry home the giant pumpkin you’ve set your heart on having.

So, I was thrilled when a friend (surely sick of hearing me whinge about being homesick today) passed me a link for this site. They even have bags of Tollhouse Morsels! Oh my god! You have no idea how useful that is to me! Basically anything you see on that site is something I have a hard time finding in the UK and probably used on a semi-regular basis or better when living in the states.

You’re all getting Mountain Dew for Christmas.

It took me three hours today to get myself added to my husband’s account. I’m amazed...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:35:55 +0100

It took me three hours today to get myself added to my husband’s account. I’m amazed how many people (husband included) think it’s weird to do a joint checking account with your husband. I was similarly amazed by the number of people who were horrified I took his last name when we married. As it turns out, despite sporting hot pink hair for a while, believing that a degree isn’t as important as practical experience and living in three different countries in the last five years, I’m a lot more traditional than many of my friends.

On the way to the bank, the castle had their front gate open and I could see inside the courtyard for the first time. It’s a prison at the moment so such glimpses are rare (and not on the tour) so that was fun. The leaves outside are turning beautifully orange and it appears they’ve trimmed them. (Probably trying to avoid a repeat of the incident some years back where some prisoners managed to scale the wall and climb down them to escape. Whoopsie!)

On the way home from the bank, I had dinner in a pub that was built in 1688. It used to be cellars for a house just up the hill, but got hidden away and everyone forgot about them until there was some demolition work a while back and then it was like, “Oh hey, look at this! We could build a pub in these!” And so, they did. It’s very cute.

I have to tell you, it’s very amusing to watch people sell travel insurance here, particularly to me. The American health system is their boogie man. ”You don’t want to get caught in America without travel insurance! BoogedyBoogedyBoo! Bad things will happen!” You think?

And lastly, while I am imparting my wisdom to you, the Tumbling youth:

Excess is the same as deductible when you’re discussing insurance, and a faggot is a kind of meatball. Really. Now, time for choir.